TMN funnies

Goddamn Josh vs Goddamn Rosecrans: in Brenda Stahler Gets Married, hilarity ensues when the men of The Morning News reminisce about a shared high-school crush.

And I didn’t come to until today, not really. The years have passed in darkness, silence, my heart cold and dead, my sinuses choked with the stench of boiling pectin. But somewhere inside me, all this time, were two deadly shards of hope. Hope that one day Brenda would realize her mistake and come running back to me, and hope that Rosecrans would get pushed down a set of stairs and land face-first on a poisonous eel. And even though that first hope died today with the arrival of the morning news, I think my friend Slitherin’ Sam, whom I’ve been training for months, will make sure the second hope will, at long last, become a reality.